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<\/p>\r\nMy children are now in high school and upper elementary school. Many of the moments we had experienced with the children had nearly faded away from my memory until I started penning this article, when suddenly, countless memories came rushing back, causing the article to grow much longer than I had planned. Since I was a student, I have always aimed to seize the moment, making the most of the opportunities available and enjoying them to the fullest. This article recounts my travels abroad with my children. We should never focus on the restrictions young children might impose on our travels; instead, we should welcome the adventures their youth allows us to explore. Though this advice may not seem directly applicable right now, I hope it serves as a source of guidance or inspiration to someone, somewhere, eventually.<\/p>\r\n
During my first year as a research assistant at Tokyo Metropolitan University, my long-aspired dream of going to Germany became a reality, where I spent a year conducting research at the University of Mannheim. I went to Germany single but got married to a fellow researcher during my stay and discovered I was pregnant before returning to Japan. My husband was back in Kyoto, so I was by myself in Germany during the early stages of my pregnancy. I would take an hour-long train ride to Frankfurt for checkups at a gynecology clinic that had a Japanese interpreter. However, there were times when the interpreter was unavailable, and I had to communicate with the German doctor in our limited English. Health checks in Germany involved pricking my finger for blood tests to check for anemia, with the results recorded in a Mutterpass (maternity record). During my morning sickness, the smell of German food on the streets felt overwhelming, but once I reached the stable phase of my pregnancy, my appetite made a comeback. I seized the opportunity to immerse myself in German opera, often visiting the local opera house. Living in Mannheim, a city celebrated for its musical heritage and once home to Mozart, I found myself profoundly touched by a performance of Wagner\u2019s \u201cThe Mastersingers of Nuremberg,\u201d which lasted until late at night. I stayed in an apartment designed for international guests at the university, a vibrant hub where people of various ages and fields from around the world came together. Among them was a female researcher living with her three-year-old daughter. She mentioned that having daycare during the day made life in Germany feel just as comfortable as back home. It was truly memorable to see her and her daughter joyfully attend the residence\u2019s monthly social events.<\/p>\r\n
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In August, during my final month in Germany, the International Congress of Mathematicians (ICM) was held in Berlin. Just prior to this, a satellite conference on algebra took place at the University of Essen, by which time my pregnancy was quite visible. I was honored to chair a session at an international research meeting for the first time, thanks to the invitation of a female researcher who was organizing the event. Interestingly, among the few female attendees, three of us were visibly pregnant, which was quite unusual. The ICM in Berlin brought together mathematicians from all over the world, and my prominent belly often surprised the Japanese mathematicians I had not seen in a year. However, I fully embraced the mathematics events and the chance to explore Berlin. I fondly recall how the baby inside me vibrantly responded to the singing of the Queen of the Night from Mozart\u2019s \u201cThe Magic Flute\u201d during one of the ICM events.<\/p>\r\n
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I came back to Japan at the end of August and was there for just a month. During this period, I had an appointment at a gynecology clinic, which felt very secretive since they would not even let me see the ultrasound images. In September, I embarked on an extended work assignment to the US. The assignment, initially scheduled for seven months, included a maternity leave of around three months. My destination was a research institute in Princeton, where I lived in an apartment on the premises, which was designated for researchers. The institute sees a yearly turnover of members, with many people from various countries coming with their families. It is not uncommon for some to give birth during their stay, and this results in a wealth of shared experiences and information related to childbirth. It is relatively unusual for a researcher, rather than a family member of a researcher, to give birth while on assignment. Regardless, I was fortunate to have my husband by my side for the birth of our child. In the US, it is common for husbands to be present during childbirth, often with the responsibility of cutting the umbilical cord. We attended several classes designed for both parents, not just mothers, where husbands learned massage techniques to help ease their pregnant wives\u2019 back pain. My daughter was born in December, just a day after we wrapped up our weekly seminar. The doctor during the checkup was a Chinese man, but the delivery was overseen by an Indian female doctor on duty that day, a diligent mother who returned to work one month after giving birth herself. In the US, it is common to discharge patients the day after birth. Thankfully, with advice from friends who had their babies in the US, my husband was encouraged to manage the household chores for a month, which would allow us a smoother transition into life with our newborn. However, things did not go as planned when my husband came down with the flu two weeks later. In January, the peak of winter and the first month after giving birth, I noticed Russians taking their babies out for walks in strollers in the evening. Even in Moscow\u2019s severe winter, they wrap their babies in blankets and take them out to a balcony daily to acclimate them to the cold weather. Inspired, we started taking our own winter walks. As a teenager, my daughter now prefers to dress in lighter clothing, hinting at the benefits of those early cold exposures.<\/p>\r\n
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A month after giving birth, I started going back to the research institute, bringing my daughter along. At first, my time there was mostly limited to tea-time conversations with various people. Occasionally, I attended seminars with my daughter asleep beside me, yet my daily life had transformed completely compared to before her arrival. On weekends, I relished adapting my leisure pursuits to accommodate my new circumstances. Princeton being just an hour from New York, I used to go to concerts before my daughter was born, and after, I switched to visiting museums. New York\u2019s wheelchair-friendly design made navigating the streets with a stroller effortless, even enabling us to make it to the top floor of the Empire State Building. The diaper-changing stations in public restrooms, available for both genders, proved to be incredibly useful.<\/p>\r\n
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We moved back to Japan at the end of March; my husband headed to Kyoto, while I, along with our three-month-old daughter, settled back in Tokyo. I resumed work at Tokyo Metropolitan University in April without taking any maternity leave. Teaching evening classes could have been a challenge, but fortunately, living with my parents meant that managing my time was less of a concern. As we chose not to enroll our daughter in a nursery school, my mother was a tremendous help. I was hesitant to go on trips and leave my daughter behind, so my husband and I managed to bring her along on our trips abroad. We would either hire babysitters at our destinations or take her to lectures, listening from afar while taking turns caring for her. There was even a moment during the lecture I was delivering when my daughter, seated in the balcony (of the auditorium) with my husband, shouted \u201cMommy!\u201d to cheer me on. Later on, while I was in Kyoto working as a short-term researcher at Kyoto University, my daughter started attending a local nursery. During a visit to UC Berkeley, I came across a mailing list for babysitter job postings, which enabled me to find a Japanese babysitter and a nursery willing to take children for as short as one month. This was extremely helpful. This mailing list seems to be still up and running to this day.<\/p>\r\n
The previous trips abroad I have mentioned were typically brief, lasting one to two weeks. But when a special year focusing on algebraic geometry was scheduled at the Isaac Newton Institute in Cambridge, UK, my interest was piqued, and I seized the opportunity to take my daughter with me. Inspired by a female researcher in Germany who managed with a toddler, I decided to attempt the same. My daughter, having just turned three and adapted to nursery life, was ready for the adventure. Securing a spot in a nursery in Cambridge required early application due to the long waitlist, and I managed to secure places for my daughter in two different nurseries, where she could attend a few days a week each. Our four-month stay in the UK from April to August coincided with my husband\u2019s extended trip to Norway, and he met up with us about once a month. Life in the UK was not much different from Japan. During nursery hours, I was able to focus on my own tasks. When my daughter was ill, a junior colleague\u2019s wife, who was there with her husband, kindly looked after her during seminars. The special year attracted a significant Japanese research community, including my graduate school juniors living in the same apartment complex, who provided my daughter with company and enjoyment beyond just what I could offer. Although she seemed to understand what the nursery teachers said, she was quiet and did not speak much. However, she found her voice through art, bringing home various pictures daily. I displayed her artwork like an exhibition on my home\u2019s walls, which earned her praise from my juniors who visited my house, further encouraging her love for drawing. While I cannot say I was fully focused on my research, experiencing a new landscape and culture with my daughter was truly rewarding. She was well-taught in manners at the nursery, such as using a knife and fork. I appreciated the British practice of clearly defining spaces for adults and children, a refreshing change from Japan\u2019s more inclusive approach to involving children in various spaces.<\/p>\r\n
The birth of my second child<\/p>\r\n
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Just after returning to Japan, the International Congress of Mathematicians (ICM) was held in Beijing, and my husband was invited as a speaker. We attended as a family and also traveled to other Chinese cities for satellite conferences before and after the ICM. Four years prior, I attended the ICM while visibly pregnant, and this time, though less visibly so, I was expecting our second child. After returning to Japan from the UK, my husband and daughter settled in Kyoto, and I would travel from Tokyo on the weekends by bullet train. However, due to risks of miscarriage, my doctor advised against working and even traveling by bullet train. Having traveled within Germany and to the US during my first pregnancy, this restriction came as a complete surprise. Eventually, I moved to Kyoto. Finding stability and a bit of boredom during my maternity leave, I attended seminars at Kyoto University while visibly pregnant. Realizing that commuting between Kyoto and Tokyo was no longer practical, I applied for several open positions and eventually received an offer from Nagoya University. After spending less than a month at Tokyo Metropolitan University after my maternity leave, I moved to Nagoya University when my son was three months old. It has now been more than a decade since I began my bullet train commutes from Kyoto.<\/p>\r\n
When my children were much younger, it was easy to take them along on overseas trips. Once my daughter started elementary school, it became difficult to take her out of school or leave the children with my parents who live far away, making trips almost impossible. But when my daughter reached third grade and my son was four, we decided to spend six months in the US as a family. Our destination was Princeton, where my daughter was born. Coincidentally, some of the colleagues from the previous visit were at the institute, enabling us to reunite with children born around the same time as my daughter. This time, my children got to attend a local elementary school and a preschool, fully immersing themselves in the American educational system. Having children with us also enriched our experience of local festivities such as Halloween, Christmas, and Valentine\u2019s Day. The institute\u2019s residential area had vast lawns where my daughter would run around and play with friends after coming home on the school bus, and with my son\u2019s preschool inside the institute, our daily life was both convenient and pleasant. In the US, adults have a different attitude towards children, often praising them for even the smallest achievements. I was taken aback when my son commented that I did not say \u201cGood job!\u201d to him as often. Though my children initially spoke no English, the elementary school offered ESL classes. My son, who was in preschool at that time, seems to recall those events as if they had happened in Japanese. At home, although my children read Japanese books, the absence of a Japanese-speaking environment led to some unexpected outcomes: my daughter began to forget kanji, and my son learned the alphabet before hiragana. Being Japanese did not cause them to stand out or be targeted for bullying; the environment where everyone was encouraged to freely pursue their interests and praise one another was truly wonderful. Through my children, I enjoyed interacting with a diverse range of people. The seminars, which brought together world-renowned researchers, were inspiring. Like in the UK, the institute hosted events exclusively for adults. Fortunately, finding a babysitter was straightforward, ensuring that having children did not mean missing out on various enjoyable experiences.<\/p>\r\n
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Since then, my children have settled back into life in Japan. Once, during a summer break, I brought them along to a research conference in the UK. They had the chance to join a science workshop taking place at the university, freeing me up to focus entirely on the conference. They have also been delighted to accompany me when I take some visiting foreign researchers on tours around Kyoto, where they had fun learning how to greet people in different languages. It is possible that being dragged around to various locations might have initially been a nuisance to them, but over time, they have appeared to embrace the excitement of exploring new environments, meeting new people, and daring to take on fresh challenges. Now that the children are older, traveling for work has become considerably more manageable. My daughter just turned 16 today. I am beginning to think about preparing for another extended trip abroad, this time on my own.<\/p>\r\n
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